Friday, October 31, 2014

These Four Walls

I apologize for the honesty of my last post.  I would not say that I really have a death wish....the Glory to come is in my thoughts and I am eager to experience that.  As for this life: pain speaks.  But I was challenged today as I read the email for today from  Open Doors ministry.  These daily emails bring stories of incredible bravery and lives that are so totally committed to God that NOTHING, no torture devised by man, can sway.  I am not chained in a dungeon nor starved nor beaten.  Yet, yes, I have severe pain constantly.  Is not this my dungeon?  Is not this the test to my faith?  Why do I waiver?  I do  not think it is entirely wrong to look ahead with eagerness. I'm sure those in prison do also.  But they know that they have a job to do on this earth....and even in prison they amass converts and begin churches.  Am I about my Father's business?

How can I be reaching out to others while homebound?
  • My writing is one way.  I need to work harder at getting articles etc published...I have them written, but have not published them.  Also need to market my book more successfully.
  • Being a light on the internet and sharing the Lord's peace and joy with my online friends.
  • Being faithful as a prayer warrior.  Being consistent and following through with offers to pray for friends.
  • Having friends over for tea.  Sadly, this has not gotten off the ground.  People are simply too busy to stop and join me for tea.  OK.  It is what it is.I will still pray for them.
  • And displaying joy and courage in the face of pain....and a refusal to blame God or feel sorry for myself.. 
  • Being a patient, loving and consistent wife and mother--this is perhaps my greatest challenge, harder than the pain I endure.
 So yes.  There are things I can do. It is easy to let the days slip through my fingers with nothing to show for it.  I need to invest myself into "redeeming the day."  Prayer.  Prayer is my #1 weapon and method of influencing the world in which I find myself.  The world within these small walls....which are nonetheless -larger than  the boxes in which my brothers and sisters in the persecuted church find themselves chained --are my prison and my Command Central. 

Lord Jesus, Help me to suffer with Joy.  Help me to rely on your peace.  Remind me to live a life of Gratitude.  Give me courage to reach out to others with the news of the Life you offer.  And forgive me for complaining and wasting Your precious time.  I only have this life in which to construct my Eternity.  Help me to be thankful and industrious in the face of that.
In your most precious and holy Name,
Amen.

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

A FUTURE GOVERNED BY PEACE




Today I read a short article entitled, “Not to Worry” by Charles Stanley In September’s edition of  “In Touch” magazine.  In it, Dr Stanley asked the question, “Do you wake up in the morning with joy or feeling burdened and dreading the day?  He then went on to talk about verses in the fourth chapter of Philippians.  He talked about vv. 13 and 19…..And these verses along with some in Romans 8, spoke volumes to me.

You see, I trudge through my life. I do not soar.  I dread the future, more pain, less money, more disability, possibly a broken marriage or being widowed , our home being in disrepair due to finances and there is also the worry caused by national troubles and  the poor fiscal futures created by men who do not serve the Lord ….and I am terrified.  I do not completely trust God’s limitless resources for me or his loving, giving heart.  I long for an early death to be spared facing any of these.  Sometimes I make medical decisions with the thought in mind, “Maybe this will be my way out”….I promised God I would never again attempt suicide (as I have 4 times in the past)….but I look for indirect ways to end things. (I must say, to my own defense, that in the past few years I have made strides in these areas, but still have a way to go before I can say that I’m glad to be alive).

And I thought this morning, “What would it take for me to face the day with joy?”  I looked at those verses mentioned above and my answer was this: Contentment and Trust.  If I could learn as Paul did, how to be content…in the face of the worst pain, the poorest times financially, and not to spend money on needless things but rather to put it to better use.  And if I could trust God with today, tomorrow and in years to come, to meet EVERY need (as he has promised to do) and to not give me more pain than I can endure….then I need not fear the future.  Contentment and trust are the anecdotes to discontentment and fear.

Just now I found some more verses that really spoke to me along these lines.
Always be glad because of the Lord! I will say it again: Be glad. Always be gentle with others. The Lord will soon be here. Don’t worry about anything, but pray about everything. With thankful hearts offer up your prayers and requests to God. Then, because you belong to Christ Jesus, God will bless you with peace that no one can completely understand. And this peace will control the way you think and feel. (Phil 4; 4-7) NASB
1.      Be glad.
2.      The Lord will be here soon
3.      Don’t worry, instead, PRAY about everything.
4.      Gratitude

Result? God’s Peace…and his Joy.  And I like the last sentence…This peace will control the way I think and feel.  Truly those are the two areas where I need a reconstruct: My mind and my emotions.  And the answer to that need is God’s Peace. And Look!  Peace is in Phil . 4 also:

Philippians 4:7 New International Version (NIV) “ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

One more thing.:

Romans 8:6  For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace, NASB

So how do I get this Peace?  I need to get my mind off of worldly things and focus on the Spirit.  Have you ever tried to live out a day with your entire thought life focused on what the Spirit of God was saying to you and where he was leading you?  How might that affect your decisions?  How might it affect how many times you pull out your credit or debit card?  How do we do that?  Well, for one thing, we ask God for his help….because without his help we are truly help-less. And we must make it a habit…to have the ears of our mind inclined in a Godward direction.  It will feel awkward at first but I believe, as Paul said ‘I have LEARNED to be content”  this too, is a learning experience.  Also we must live a life of Prayer….keep talking and most of all, keep listening.  And lastly, submit your mind to the “washing of the Word”

 (Ephesians 5:26New American Standard Bible (NASB)

26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,
 
It is critical to keep your “nose in the Book” however you do it…CDs in your car, on your cellphone, your Kindle, or your old fashioned Book with pages you can turn.  The more you read, the more your mind will be bathed and cleansed by God’s Spirit which plants the Word deep in your heart and mind ….and before you know it, those habits of discontentment and worry will begin to disappear and maybe one morning you (I) will open up my eyes and feel joy at the promise of a new day and feel gratitude and  optimism for the future.

 

 


Sunday, October 26, 2014

On Whining and Self Pity—our Response to Suffering


The other day I was told I am full of self pity.  I could have brushed it off, denying it….but I wanted to investigate my heart and see if there is self pity residing there. 
Tonight in MacArthur’s study Bible I found this paragraph:
“The basic theme of Psalms is living real life in the real world where two dimensions operate simultaneously; 1) a horizontal or temporal reality.  2) a vertical or transcendent reality .Without denying the pain of the earthly dimension, the people of God are to live joyfully and dependently on the person and promises standing  behind the heavenly/eternal dimension.  All cycles of human trouble and triumphs provide occasions for expressing human complaints, confidence, prayers or praise to Israel’s Sovereign Lord.”

My question is what about the issue of physical suffering and pain?  Job deals with it but his situation is temporary and it is divinely orchestrated.  Where is the question of pain in the OT (Old Testament).?  In the NT (New Testament) it appears as Jesus is on the scene to put an end to it and heal it.   But what about GOD and PAIN?  This paragraph does address it.  1-  Admit you are hurting…be honest. 2- Retain your joy in the provisions of the Lover of your Soul. Depend on him.  And at the same time be grateful for his gifts to us.
                        Life gives us reason to complain, however we have a confident Source who will ultimately right the wrong  -- REJOICE in that.
Psalms does deal frequently with suffering.  Usually suffering of soul and emotions however there is some physical pain mentioned usually in forecast of the suffering at the Cross.  

How does all of this relate to self pity?
For one, Job really was a whiner.  But who are we to judge if we have not experienced suffering like his?  This brings up an important couple of points.
1)     Whining is not a sin.    (As long as we have legitimate cause to whine)…It will, however, distance our friends from us.  NO ONE likes to hear whining –however merited it may be.  Whether it is right or wrong for our friends to abandon us in our pain?  I’ll leave that up to you.  Do we have the right to stifle the expressions of suffering?  I say, not unless we ourselves have met or surpassed such pain and not whined ourselves.

2)    Although it appeared that God’s ears were deaf to Job’s complaints,.his purposes were merely incomplete which is why he delayed removing the suffering as Job was begging him to do.  God is often doing something bigger than we know and we need to just trust this.  Yes, we can ask God to remove the pain but we must also ask God to give us endurance and strength to stand up under the weight of it.  In due time God restored Job’s losses.

Is whining the same as self pity?  I think self pity is worse because it demonstrates a refusal to accept the path that God has laid out for us to walk.  A person may walk in righteousness and whine at his pain but he can still accomplish the purpose of God in it.  Self pity is more, a statement that God does not have the right to cause us to suffer.  Self pity looks at all the healthy people around and does not seek to look at the face of God which may just be revealed in the face of suffering.  And I believe that comparing healthy people with ourselves is a form of coveting.  We are coveting their health and rejecting the path God is leading us to walk.

The fellowship of the Cross

Regardless of the severity of our pain, we can honestly say that Jesus knew greater pain than we do.  When I was in the ER with a dislocated hip and in severe pain where I was sweating and crying and calling out quietly for Jesus to help me.  Suddenly I felt God’s Presence and the verse from Ps 22 came to me saying “ and all his bones were out of joint”…..I cried.  Wow.  Jesus did not only have a dislocated hip or a blown spinal disk, ALL OF HIS JOINTS AND DISKS were destroyed.  I felt the sweet presence of the suffering Christ there in that hospital and I know he was holding my hands and wiping tears from my eyes.  I could only whisper “Thank you Jesus, for sharing with  me a tiny bit of what you suffered.”  Needless to say, this revelation pretty much erased all my self-pity and whining.

So I would say to my accuser…”no, I do not have self-pity….I am merely overwhelmed by my pain and all I can do is cry to Jesus or whineBut here is a suggestion: when you need to whine, how about doing it for God’s ears only? And then write a Psalm laying out your complaint and then do not fail to remember that all but two of David’s Psalms begin in sorrow, pain and turmoil and end in rejoicing and thanksgiving…..so do not forget to include this in your Psalm.

Saturday, October 25, 2014

800th Post

Welcome.
It is hard to believe that I  have written 800 articles for this blog in the time since August of 2009 when it all began.  Now that I have my book complete and am slowly figuring out how to market it, I find myself foundering a bit.  I suppose that is normal when for the past four years my goal has been to finish it and get it published. I am proud of the book but regret a few things.  I did not have the money to pay for editors, so I undertook to edit myself....thus a few typos sneaked their way in and I didn't catch them in time.  Also there was a bit of flummoxing about my daughter's name.  You may have noticed that I dedicated the book to "Alexa, my daughter...etc" and in the book my daughter's name was "Shana"....Because there were some people whose identities I needed to protect, I changed EVERYONE's name pretty much, and foolishly also gave my daughter an alias....while publishing her REAL name in the dedication.  OK...No I did not have two daughters and one died.  It was just a dumb mistake.  Partly the problem was that I wrote the book a few years ago and wrote the dedication just prior to publishing...and so was not thinking about the fact that I'd hidden her identity.

So...nothing and no one is perfect except the Lord and his Word.

I have been looking around for ways to continue to write and possibly to make some small income.  I also have been working on a book idea that I had come up with a couple of years ago when I guest blogged on another blog on the topic of "Things I've learned through illness."  I think some of the things are absolutely worth sharing so am working on a devotional book for people with chronic illness and their spouses.  I'm quite excited about this book but do not look forward to the process of finding an agent /publisher.  But unfortunately that all comes hand in glove with writing as a career.
I'm not great at networking....it's a skill I'm trying  to develop.

Also please pray for my daughter (Alexa/Shana).  She has not been feeling well and I am worried that she may be doing the autoimmune disease route.  Of course I could be wrong....possibly it could be Lyme's Disease....so we need to get some medical attention to sort through the problem. 

Come back tomorrow as I will be posting an article I've  been working on. 
God Bless
Cynthia
Yes I know ---this is not the slim-pretty lady on the back of my book. Steroids have blown me up like a Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon.  So - as much as I hate to admit it.  This is me  now.

Monday, October 20, 2014

"What you Intended for Evil: God Intended for Good"

For those of you who have come to my blog. encouraged by my book to come here or via some other avenue.....and you expected to see a lot about SZ (Schizophrenia)....those articles are scattered randomly throughout the blog.  Your best bet is to use the blog search  feature in the side bar toward the top..   Type "Schizophrenia" in there and you will get a  list of articles to pick from. Maybe more than you bargained on...but I hope you find something helpful.  If you do, please leave a note or a comnent so we can dialogue --or just so I know you are out there listening.

But for now pain is on my mind.  I had  falling out on Friday with my pain management doc, due to his completely misunderstanding something I said in an email to him.  So.  He  completely overreacted and gave me the boot.  You have to understand how devastating it was to my pride.  I am a "good girl"  --I take my meds as directed except for one potent narcotic that I save for times of great pain and need.  And he knows that. I've told him that....  It was humiliating to me to be told I had threatened the doctor (which I most certainly did NOT). He called me unstable and  inconsistent.  I said to him "YEAHHH. I have schizophrenia...how is that you are expecting consistency? No answer.
Long run....short story...I am on my own to either deal with unrelieved pain or to find a doc who will take me on after getting the smear on  my medical records that I'm sure this guy is going to leave.      You are right.  No one will prescribe for me.
My only hope is my rheumatologist who has asked me severeal times if I need pain meds.  So he may be a source of a lower dose...just something to help me stay on this side of the grave.

I was so blessed  today to receive a devotional in my email by Margaret D Mitchell. on Endurance....and what that means to a believer.   How does it change us? What does it look like?  How does God use it.?  A really good Biblically sound teaching. It was one that encouraged me and sent me to the Word and to prayer. And that is the best kind of thing.  Here it is so you can read it.

http://www.crosswalkmail.com/ViewMessage.do?m=dsctpjdcsd&r=lkmjkmzdkkmk&s=xhgjvsdbjgjdcbmplqnkndschllcgrdnvvm&a=view

No matter the damage done to me by this doctor.  I am a a child of God and my God will see that I have all that I need.  He will  either heal me or he will take my hand and walk me through my days of pain and in his presence pain doesn't have a chance of stealing the show.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Pained Thought

As I have mentioned in the past Sparkpeople.com has been a big part of my life in my attempts to lose weight and regain strength.  IN the past several months it has been all I can do to drop in on the RAD team (Rheuatoid Autoimmune Disease) that I am one of  the leaders...and just update them on my current status and trying to encourage those there who are struggling.  It used to be a really active team with posts appearing every hour at least.  Lately though...it's been dead.  AS dead as my own attempts at a healthy lifestyle....And yesterday one of the members of rhat team wrote me an honest letter - the "tough love" approach.  She said that I am feeling self pity and that if I don' t get my act together I will die.  And to that statement I said something like "That would be okay with me:"
Unfortunately that statement was looked upon as though it were a suicidal threat.  Which it was not.  Not in any way shape or form.  AFter my last suicide attempt (you will have to read it in my book....I'm not going to explain it here.) I learned that my  life belongs to the Lord....he holds the calendar for my life and until he beckons me....I'm stuck here.  I look forward to heaven more than anyone I know does.  I cannot wait to see my beloved Lord and get into that new body.  I'm READY.  But I am not going to try to take my life out of God's hands.  I am His.

But the issue of self pity stuck to me....I do not feel like I am pitying myself.  I do what I have to do everyday  with the little bit of strength I have.  I am in pain.  I have accepted the fact that for as long as I live, I will have daily pain....and sometimes that pain is  excruciating.  It's a fact.  It is what it is.
I  have asthma which sends me into bronchospasm merely by walking across the living room.,,,I cannot exercise.  My pulmonologist told me if I exercise, I will die.  I'm not making that up.  it's a fact.  But I can do some stretches which I did  today following a Richard Simmons ancient VCR tape.  So I will try to do things like that.  Lifting arm weights although with two messed up elbows and two painful shoulders...that will not be easy  But I promised I would try it. So that's on for tomorrow.

I do not want to be thought of as someone who has given up and who pities themselves.  How do I avoid that/ Do i just stop talking about pain and how lousy I feel?  Just "suck it up"?In my life, I do  not talk about pain unless someone specifically asks me.  I do what I can and what i have to do.  I don't walk around moaning and kvetching.  Maybe in my writing on this team....because I look at it as a safe environment where I will not be derided or given a hard time.  It's a place where we can support each other.  But maybe some people think it's  a place to spread cheer and positive thinking.  Maybe we are just approaching the team from different directions.

Right now I'm in bad shape.  Maybe from the stretches today?  It's the only thing different.  I will keep plugging at it.

Sunday, October 12, 2014

What can you do?





It is also breast cancer awareness month (or week, not sure which)....and as badly as I feel for those with breast cancer, and as awful a disease as that is....those who suffer with it are considered to be heroes....and millions of dollars are raised each year to continue to seek treatment options. 
On the other hand, those who suffer with mental illness, suffer with it for the rest of their lives. SZ in particular strikes at the time of life when a person is just beginning to become an adult and is beginning to undertake the pursuit of his or her goals in life.  Not only is their life destroyed by the disease, they often have to bear intolerable stigma.  They will be referred to as "crazy" "lunatic" and worse.  No one will want to  be around them.  People are needlessly frightened of them.  They suffer horrors at the hands of police enforcement and mental health facilities.  They have very little chance at a love life and have to live with the knowledge that, should they have a child, they are very likely passing on the disease that has robbed them of a normal, fulfilling life.

Some people, like myself, who once were bright and at the tops of their college or high school classes who had every possibility for high achievement in life, find themselves losing intelligence and even reading a book becomes a huge challenge....and completing a college course becomes an impossibility.  And worst of all they are treated as though they were mentally challenged .

To learn more about the reality of mental illness and what someone with Schizophrenia experiences, why not purchase my book, newly released, that tells my story and also explains more about this disease and maybe will enable you to treat people with mental illness with more understanding.

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_c_0_18?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=cynthia+lott+vogel&sprefix=cynthia+lott+vogel%2Caps%2C217
This is the link for my book on Amazon., however will not be available on Amazon until the 22nd of  October.  You may pre-order or go directly to Xulon's site (and in doing this not only can you get the book faster, I will get a greater royalty.  http://www.xulonpress.com/bookstore/bookdetail.php?PB_ISBN=9781498412018&HC_ISBN=

It is also available on Barnes and Noble's site but I am unsure of when B&N will get their stock in.





Sunday, October 5, 2014

A Book Giveaway.

Comment on the post below between today (Sunday ) til the end of tomorrow (Monday) and I will choose a commenter  to receive a free copy of my new book Treasures from Darkness- how I lost my  mind and saved my soul.

An Eternal View of Suffering and Joy

We should see God as the Source of all good and our Sustainer through everything bad.  Consider the perspective of one accustomed to suffering who can still say, "They feast on the abundance of your house and you give them drink from the river of your delights.  For with you is the fountain of life" (Psalm 36:8-9)  God alone is the Fountain of Life. Without Him there could be neither life nor joy, neither abundance nor delights

(from Seeing the Unseen- a Daily Dose of Eternal Perspective by Randy Alcorn)

Something good in your path? a need met? a prayer answered? a provision made?  Praise and give thanks to God.

A new catastrophic diagnosis? Excruciating never ending pain?  Poverty where once there was wealth?  Hunger and disease in other lands?  Mass murders going unpunished?  The loss of a beloved pet?

Then comes our understanding of the brokenness of this planet. Then comes the understanding of how desperately we need the Lord. The SAVIOR...who will one day with a flaming sword on a white steed with flames from his nostrils....He will come to rout the maker of disease, poverty, pain, injustice and more....He will throw open the door to hell and oust the one who wreaked such havoc on our planet....down into the kingdom of darkness where the flames never extinguish and the worms don't die.  There he will be bound for a thousand years....then let loose once more to wage war on the righteous and their KIng....and God will come in a blaze of fire and destroy the destroyer  Never again to whisper his lies or suggest sin.

When you see the big picture ...pain - even severe pain takes on a different light..  So does sin.
It creates in me a desperate desire to please Him.  To endure whatever I must so that in the end I will be on the winning side.  I will be in the  resurrection and will rise to receive my new body....which does not tire nor hurt.  Which can go from one place to another in the blink of an eye. And best of all, to hold the hand of Y'shua as he shows me the delights of the Kingdom.

  The Kingdom is gained ONLY by faith.  I urge you, to examine yourself....your life....your words....you behavior.  Confession is an essential need and it is something widely neglected.  Of late I have been asking God to open my heart to understand my failings and he has shown me things that make my heart ache...my heart sick.  

It is not enough to suffer without complaint.  My heart must be blameless.  And that blamelessness does not come from my effort....it is the "gift of God lest any man  should boast"  I confess my failures and he carries them to the deepest ocean depth and buries them never to surface again.  Thank you Jesus that you have holiness to spare.  That you will dress me in white bridal clothes to meet my King, Lord, Love and I will joyously greet you with a pure heart.

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Everything I Need

Here is today's verse from K-Love's daily verses sent to my email each morning.  Today, I put an X by it intending to put it in the trash before I read it.  And God sent that inimitable call to my heart, "No, this is for you.  READ it,

By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence. 2 Pet. 1:3

Everything I need for living a godly life.  I must not need a healthy body.  I must not need the ability to ride, drive, or fly anywhere.  I must not need a believing husband....I do not need any of these things in order for me to live a holy, godly life.....because God has already provided what I need.
What are some of those things?
  •   His holy Word available in hundreds of translations yet altogether in unity
  •   He's given me a home and  comfortable chair and bed because with the amount of pain I'm in I would never survive an uncomfortable place to put my body.
  • A Bible teaching church whose pastor is loving and who models what a transformed life looks like.
  • He has given me an unbelieving family before whom I am to live the witness of the One who has saved me (and them).
  • And he has given me ears to hear his soft voice directing me, instructing me, encouraging me, loving me.
I'm sure there are more things....so often I feel sorry for myself.  Good grief I cannot get to a grocery store and even if I did, I could not lift the half gallon of almond milk  God told me this morning.  "Cut the pity party!  You want to be holy?? OK then, here I've given you all  you need, now get to work.

And in the end of the verse God spells out exactly how we are to use his provisions. 

We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who 
called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence

We need to come to know the Son. and the Father and the Spirit who all want to  know us and they have called to us by means of the amazing glory and excellence.  I need to meditate on that a little more.  I know that it plunges deeper depths than I have yet comprehended.  Lord Jesus, I want to know you...like so many songs say.  Preach to my heart.  Draw me to yourself.  wrap  your arms around me when I am sad or afraid.  Help me to know that no matter what pain and disability may lie in my future...You are right there helping us to grow in godliness and learning how to know You better as You walk with me in the shadow of death.  I fear no evil for my God is with me.

No more complaints.  My goal in life is to look like Jesus....to be a worthy bride for him. And no matter how sick I get  I will always have all I need to become more and more like Jesus.
               ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
congrats to Jan Leree Whidden. for winning the free signed book, Treasures From Darkness which has just been released written by yours truly.  Later this week...say Friday the 3rd we will hold another giveaway.  PLEASE comment....make it a bit more of a challenge to win!!  Comment on Friday's post and you just may win.

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Some Comments

Here is what some people are saying about my new book , Treasures from Darkness.  
To add your thoughts and comments here please email me at : cynthialottvogel@gmail.com
or send me a message by Facebook.


"Cynthia Vogel is able to walk through, to the darkest corner of the dungeon of pain with her words and not give up on the tiny candle light that holds it's wick, within her soul."

 Jan Leree Whidden.

A Book Giveaway!

Some good news to report.  I have received my first box of books and my book is now available on  Kindle.   Unfortunately it is only available at this point, as an Ebook, the paperback version has not come through yet.  HOWEVER....Here on this blog only I am going to be giving away two signed books.    All you have to do is to comment on this post and from the comments, I will pick  one winner and will mail you a copy of the book.  I will be doing this twice.Once today, and one other day in the next week ...Keep checking here so you don't miss out on your second chance.


And here is the link on Amazon to my book:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=cynthia+lott+vogel+Treasures+from+Darkness

The book is also available on Barnes and Nobel.
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/cynthia-lott-vogel-Treasures-from-Darkness?store=allproducts&keyword=cynthia+lott+vogel+Treasures+from+Darkness

If you want a signed copy please email me at cynthialottvogel@gmail.com

The price for the signed paperback is $14 due to shipping costs.
Thank you for your patience in regard to making this book available.  I worked on it on and off for four years.  It is hard to believe that it is done and ready for purchase.
Please share the excitement.  If you know someone who is mentally ill or the family of a mentally ill person , please tell them about this book....Better yet, order it for them!