Monday, October 20, 2014

"What you Intended for Evil: God Intended for Good"

For those of you who have come to my blog. encouraged by my book to come here or via some other avenue.....and you expected to see a lot about SZ (Schizophrenia)....those articles are scattered randomly throughout the blog.  Your best bet is to use the blog search  feature in the side bar toward the top..   Type "Schizophrenia" in there and you will get a  list of articles to pick from. Maybe more than you bargained on...but I hope you find something helpful.  If you do, please leave a note or a comnent so we can dialogue --or just so I know you are out there listening.

But for now pain is on my mind.  I had  falling out on Friday with my pain management doc, due to his completely misunderstanding something I said in an email to him.  So.  He  completely overreacted and gave me the boot.  You have to understand how devastating it was to my pride.  I am a "good girl"  --I take my meds as directed except for one potent narcotic that I save for times of great pain and need.  And he knows that. I've told him that....  It was humiliating to me to be told I had threatened the doctor (which I most certainly did NOT). He called me unstable and  inconsistent.  I said to him "YEAHHH. I have schizophrenia...how is that you are expecting consistency? No answer.
Long run....short story...I am on my own to either deal with unrelieved pain or to find a doc who will take me on after getting the smear on  my medical records that I'm sure this guy is going to leave.      You are right.  No one will prescribe for me.
My only hope is my rheumatologist who has asked me severeal times if I need pain meds.  So he may be a source of a lower dose...just something to help me stay on this side of the grave.

I was so blessed  today to receive a devotional in my email by Margaret D Mitchell. on Endurance....and what that means to a believer.   How does it change us? What does it look like?  How does God use it.?  A really good Biblically sound teaching. It was one that encouraged me and sent me to the Word and to prayer. And that is the best kind of thing.  Here it is so you can read it.

http://www.crosswalkmail.com/ViewMessage.do?m=dsctpjdcsd&r=lkmjkmzdkkmk&s=xhgjvsdbjgjdcbmplqnkndschllcgrdnvvm&a=view

No matter the damage done to me by this doctor.  I am a a child of God and my God will see that I have all that I need.  He will  either heal me or he will take my hand and walk me through my days of pain and in his presence pain doesn't have a chance of stealing the show.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

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