Thursday, August 28, 2014

Self Doubts

I was just reading over at Twitter.  I've been told it's a great place to make some friends and to also build a platform.   I see all these clever phrases written by other women writers...women whom I know also speak.  I think if I had to speak I would start running and wouldn't stop until I met up with the shore line. I'm not a speaker. I'm also at times a lame "pray-er"...My mouth is incredibly dry from Sjogrens and add nerves to that and you would have to peel  my tongue from the roof of my mouth like you were peeling an orange.  It's SO hard to speak when your tongue has turned to glue.

And what about these clever/cute phrases.? Were they up all night coming up with it? Did they "lift it" from some written source?  Or are they endowed with nimble brains that can leap tall buildings in a single bound?  While I am befuddled in the brain fog that reminds me of the swamp fog that creeps in sometimes in swampy areas.  Yes.  That is me.  That is what my brain deals with.  I not only have a thought disorder which has symptoms like "poverty of thought"   and anxiety and terrible fear of looking stupid.  Add to that four autoimmune diseases with "Brain Fog" as a practically tangible (and unwelcome) symptom and you have a a world class tongue tied moron before you.  No I think I should stay away from Twitter. 

I heard an expression once. "It is better to be silent and have people wonder if you are a fool,  than to speak and to remove all doubt.."  Yeah.  That.

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