Monday, October 28, 2013

In the Storms of Life


Daily I get a verse from Scripture delivered to my email from KLOVE  (KLOV FM a Christian radio station which can be listened to online at KLOV.com.  )

Today I read the following 
Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble,
    and he brought them out of their distress. 
 He stilled the storm to a whisper;
    the waves of the sea were hushed. 

When I read that I thought it must come from the Gospels' account of the disciples facing the storm in their ship on the Sea of Galilee....however I was astonished to read the "address" of the verse is Psalm 107:28-29!   So I went to that chapter to read it in it's entirety.   I just want to share with you some of the verses I found in that chapter:


Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble,
    and he saved them from their distress.
14 He brought them out of darkness, the utter darkness,
    and broke away their chains.
15 Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love
    and his wonderful deeds for mankind,
16 for he breaks down gates of bronze
    and cuts through bars of iron.
17 Some became fools through their rebellious ways
    and suffered affliction because of their iniquities.
18 They loathed all food
    and drew near the gates of death.
19 Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble,
    and he saved them from their distress.
20 He sent out his word and healed them;
    he rescued them from the grave.
21 Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love
    and his wonderful deeds for mankind.
22 Let them sacrifice thank offerings
    and tell of his works with songs of joy.

I have to say that my life must have been in God's mind when he wrote these words in the heart and mind of the Psalmist.  I suffered horribly from clinical depression--a literal prison complete with shackles and darkness. I couldn't eat...didn't WANT to eat and I approached death through that problem. I was locked in the prisons of psychiatric wards where I was literally locked into those prisons.  And yes.  God set me free.

And since those years, storm after storm has rocked my ship.  Financial problems, illness, disability,
---All storms and one after another have led me to cry out "Lord HELP me!"  and one by one, deliverance came.  Right now, my husband's life is in peril due to terrible heart disease.  And I struggle with two autoimmune diseases (Sjogrens has just be added to my list of problems) and because of this my vision is in peril....and I may  soon  be in deepest darkness...Right now our septic system is having expensive problems....and we (I) cry out "LORD HELP US!!"

And I know without a doubt, that the God who took me from prison in the past, will once again "ride the winds to help me"  He is my SAVIOR.  my REDEEMER.  Saving people  from their personal prisons. From the habits that keep them in bondage.  From one stormy sea to another...he comes, speaks a word...and the winds still , the waves calm.

This passage enjoins us, once God has freed us, to PRAISE His holy name.  And to speak to others of the deliverance he brings.  So that is why I am writing this post.  God is first and foremost: our deliverer.  It brings him joy to rescue us.  All he is waiting for is the sound of our voice as we cry to him in distress....and then, he comes running.  The father who waits for the sound of the prodigal's voice....and he comes running.

He has delivered me COUNTLESS times.  When I can't find something...I cry out to him and right then and there he shows me where it is.  Daily. He comes to my rescue in the smallest of problems...to the ones that jeopardizes our craft in the waves of a stormy sea. 

Are you in peril?  Is your day shrouded in darkness?  Call out to him. He is in the business of redemption.  He only waits -- eagerly-- for your voice.  Cry out to him. 

And friend...when that deliverance comes?  Thank him  From the depths of your heart...sing and shout your thanks to him.  Tell your friends...tell anyone who will listen.  And then in your next  crisis? You know where to go.  You know what to do.  But you know what? no friend likes to be Used.  Don't just bring him your disasters and quandaries.   Tell him about your day.  Talk to him all the time.  Thank him for every single good thing in your life.  And keep talking to your friends. Tell them of your Redeemer...your Deliverer... The One who Saves you.

Here is a link to a song sung by Meredith Andrews  Take a listen.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qoh26pC2RT8

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

The Million Dollar Woman gives her Two Cents.

The following is an amalgam of two different notes I've written....I hope that it speaks to you.

If  I had to pick one of God's characteristics that I most love and desire, I would pick his Mercy.  I so much deserve the fires of hell.  More than almost anyone knows how much I need that.  God has poured his grace over me once his mercy cleansed me.  The disciples were puzzled about  Jesus acceptance of a "loose" woman.  A woman that has committed the unspeakable.  The Pharisees nearby question  Jesus also.  His response?  "One man owed someone $3 and another man owed  $1,000,000...both were forgiven. Who loves the one who forgave them the most? "'

 That's  me: the $1,000,000 lady.

 And Jesus said elsewhere when questioned about his choice of people to hang around with.  Jesus replied  "I came for the sick ...Like a doctor receives the accolades  of those he had snatched  from the jaws of death...This sickest were the ones with the greatest debt of gratitude.

God's  mercy extends as far as the East is from the West.  He has bathed me in Mercy, rinsed me with his grace and the toweled me off with his Love... And soon. Very soon, I will be dressed in his righteous white gown.



"I tell you the truth, those who listen to my message and believe in God who sent me have eternal life. They will never be condemned for their sins, but they have already passed from death into life."  John 5:24


This was today's verse from K LOVE. I've been worried about "judgment  day" when horrible past sins are brought to light for everyone's viewing.  Verses like "everything secret will be brought to light" scare me to death. How will it be? Will others have equally horrific sins to display?  Will it be that the greatness of God's mercy overshadow our sins?    I am already in the clear....my sins were already paid at the cross. It's not as though my sin will be dragged out from under the cover to be judged again.  I have already  been  given the award of Life Eternal.  If others do see that sin,  I can  only throw myself at the  feet of Jesus...He will shield me and comfort me.  I cannot receive the judgment he already paid on my behalf.  I think that somehow our sins will be neutralized. They will have lost the power to harm me. "Death , where is thy victory?; Grave, where is thy sting.?"
 

Friday, October 18, 2013

Dragon on

I'm going to warn you that this post is written with  Dragon :voice recognition software. I'm still getting used to it and it is still learning how I speak in my voice intonations.. So if it seems strange and not quite my voice is because I'm not used to dictating it. I have been struggling for material for my box you've noticed I'm sure that they become more sporadic I hope I don't lose some of you my  faithful readers. Two things have simultaneously been happening and they seem a bit contradictory One is the been getting out of the house more,I even volunteered to  take part in a ministry at church when I went to a meeting last Sunday. I've gone out to dinner with friends and had chances to visit with my family. All of this is new and enjoyable. However simultaneously there is a new monster on the horizon and he's getting closer step-by-step.and that is horrific pain.

You know that have pain I've written about it before extensively however I feel like I'm learning all of all over again what it's like to be incapacitated by pain  I woke up last night and I could not get out of bed .I tried to but I couldn't. I wanted to scream it hurt so bad. Finally with a groan and a yell, I managed to get off the bed I made my way to the living room recliner. Managed finally to get a little sleep until my daughter came out and needed me for something, She got disgusted with me because I couldn't function enough to help her.then at 4 o'clock in the morning I wrote a psychotic email to Becky. It made no sense-- it was rude and I couldn't even remember writing it when I woke up then I did remember it. I was mortified. I discussed it with Becky today and she told me that she was just figuring that I was not doing well and didn't take it personally she just wrote it off as part of my illness which I guess is what it was.  I usually  have a rule never to send an email written in the middle of the night. I've written some pretty crazy things unfortunately my pastor has gotten a lot of them.he handles them and very diplomatically and never mentions them to me.

I'm still struggling with symptoms of the schizophrenia. My friends kind of take it in stride and don't get all upset if I act strangely. That's what makes them my friends. I wish my family could be that charitable. But that's another story for another time.

Please keep in prayer the victims of the cyclone in India .the devastation there is immense and makes me so grateful for what I have.



Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Need Prayer

Please-pray for me and for my family.  My parents are not well...and my marriage is not well.  We just really covet your prayers right now.
Thanks

Sunday, October 13, 2013

Review of Matt Chandler's newest book, "TO Live is Christ; to Die is Gain"

To Live Is Christ to Die Is GainTo Live Is Christ to Die Is Gain by Matt Chandler

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


This is another"winner" by Matt Chandler.  Honestly, when I saw the title of this book I thought that it would discuss death and Matt Chandler's brain cancer which certainly would have fit right in with this verse in Philippians.  However, it was only once, well into the book, that Rev. Chandler mentions his cancer and proximity to death   However the book is on the Epistle to the Philippians and other books by the apostle Paul. 

He examines the many ways in which we as believers need to learn contentment despite any loss, lack or other difficulty and even during times of blessing and plenty.  Using the church at Philippi as the poster child for how church should be...Paul speaks to them with thanks and warm words....even while instructing two women who were at odds with each other, he speaks with affection.

In the church of the United States there are many things that we need to get serious about.   I believe that the church in the Sudan puts the Church of America to shame when it comes to being content with their lot.  People who are suffering intense persecution and hardship know the lesson of gratitude and contentment.  And it is the church here in North America who needs to hear these words...The time is coming when we will face our maker and must give an account for our attitudes and actions.  This book calls us to take these things seriously and to learn the lessons of gratitude and contentment.

Paul's life --as portrayed by Matt Chandler--was the least likely to bring the fruit of contentment.
Paul suffered intensely --as did John and the other disciples  and yet he says with all sincerity, "I have learned to be content in all circumstances, whether in plenty or in lack, in comfort or in pain,"...Paul is a model for us and a person cannot walk away from this book without being challenged to be thankful in every circumstances.



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R

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Challenged by a Book

So I finally made the transition (rather am making the transition) to voice recognition technology rather than typing with these crippled up fingers. Because my Dragon software  has the odd habit of inserting very funny words in place of what I've  told it to write, still learning is much a trade-off between  vocal and digital as in using my ten digits  to make sense of what I'm trying to say on the screen.I speak-- it writes what it thinks I said-- while I'm laughing, I often have to type in what I really said. I've come to the conclusion that I speak very poorly without enunciating my words so hopefully once I get used to using this technology I will be able to speak more clearly as well.

Yesterday I had a very busy day left the house at 10 in the morning got back at 4:30 in the afternoon.I did a lot of errands spent a lot of money, visited my parents, ate out with my friend who drove me,  went back home and did grocery shopping. I was so tired I sprung for a pizza because I didn't want to face this kitchen and hungry family members.

-I am readinge another book by Matt Chandler who is a main preacher at the village church in Texas. The book is called To Live is Christ and to Die is Gain.  I thought that that was an appropriate title considering that Chandler has a malignant brain tumor. It turns out that the book is concerning the biblical book of] Philippians. Philippians is one of the books in my Bible which are almost completely underlined. It would make sense, to just memorize the whole book of Philippians and I'm sure that if I were to try to quote passages from there I could,  because they are that familiar.  It's a good book despite the fact that he has not once mentioned his own personal circumstances or maybe is a good thing however I think I given the situation it ties in nicely with the book of Philippians that "finishing the race" "pressing on" maybe he has been saving that for the ending.  I have so many books I want to read right now I need to spend less time on the computer and more time reading ...prayerfullyreading--                                                              

Matt's other book The Explicit Gospel was also wonderful to read. And if I may give Matt another plug:  I subscribe to his  iTunes podcast for all of his messages from the church  in Texas and if you want to hear some good preaching check that out. Sony Brooks is a little time LOL this is what that sentence was supposed to be: "so many books  so little time". How did we get to "SonyI Brooks is a little time" I don't know.

I have been trying to spend more time with the Lord in devotions-- in prayer. I feel the need to practice some of the spiritual disciplines such as: silence,meditation ,memorization, prayer, fasting, etc.  In years past, these practices have helped me greatly in my walk with the Lord and knowing him better; disciplining  myself ,learning how to focus my thoughts and center them on Christ; learning how to study Scripture and have the word deeply impress itself on my heart.

If you don't want to lay out ten dollars for a Kindle book, there are SCADS of them that are free or nealy free...written by Saints and Lovers of Jesus...from centuries past.  Books like "The Cloud of Unknowing, or The Imitation of Christ by Thomas a Kempis...books like St Teresa's Interior Castle,
books by Tozer, St Augustine., CS Lewis and many others. READ, soak it up!  You'll never be the same.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

Monday, October 7, 2013

King over the Storm

LORD--you made the storm we had today.  The  fierce wind was your breath, the howling: your voice. The deluge: your tears purging us from all self satisfaction.  The fear of falling trees and flooding basements send me scrambling for Mark4  when Jesus slept through the storm on the boat and when his panicked disciples wakened him his words were: "Guys, WHERE IS YOUR FAITH???"  Chagrined but not yet comforted fully my fingers fly to Psalm 91.
Psalm 91. "Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. This I declare about the Lord: he alone is my refuge, my place of safety. He is my God, I will trust Him....Do not dread the diisaster that strikes at midday...."
 Ahhh there is the comfort I needed, the challenge to cling harder, trust more, to leave fear in the dust,  He alone is my place of safety.
 
Who is this God?  The God who rips apart the heavens to make us cling to him...to him alone.
He is the God who when I've lost something, big or small, important or not....When I turn to him and ask him to show me where it is.  My  friends : ALWAYS, without exception,...My eyes will light on the object or words will come to my mind telling me where to find it. My God...the God who governs with those he's placed in Power...God moves me to accomplish his designs...The God who heals and helps...He is not too busy or too arrogant to be willing to open my eyes to my lost item. 

He is Lord over every detail. He is the God who runs to help me (or rides the winds to help me as Scripture says) . Why does he do this? He is not my go-fer.  He does it because he loves me and he loves hearing my "thank you" oozing with delighted amazement that yet again he shows me his love tucked away with my recovered object.

God I want to know you. Not just these little demonstrations of affection---I want to see your glory. I want to know you intimately.  I want to get to the place where you needn't ask me "Daughter,where is your faith?"  I want to glow with your presence.  I want to be a sweet fragrance to your nostrils as I lift  my hands in prayer.  Lord teach me to pray.  Bring me into your presence.  Help me to love because without love it amounts to nothing.  I want to look like you.  I want people to look at me and say to each other: "She's his daughter."  Fill me, mold me, carve me, hammer and chisel me.
I want to bring you joy.



 

Saturday, October 5, 2013

Book Review

Our Authentic Selves: Reflections on What We Believe and What We Wish We BelievedOur Authentic Selves: Reflections on What We Believe and What We Wish We Believed by David Hampton

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


This book ended suddenly. I turned the page thinking there were more chapters coming and whoops--I'm banging my nose against the wall at the end of the book!  I'm sort of left scrambling, trying to rehash the book in my memory and finding not a lot of the book stayed there.  This may definitely come from my habit of reading several books at a time.  It's good to finish one but it does make it harder to have a clear picture of what I've read.

I do recall reading some things that I wanted to linger over and think about.  The book raised way more questions than giving any answers.  Like "what do you REALLY believe and why?" And by asking questions like that, we are challenged to find what remains after our faith has been firebombed.  What has survived the blaze and was it saved in its original shape or has it now been altered by the heat and flame?  Has it,like gold, been purified? Or has it been too warped to function in the manner which we had been used to seeing it function?

I'm left now wanting to inventory my faith to decide which parts to keep and which to lose.  I think the subtitle of the book is accurate about how the book functioned in me.

All told --it was a thought provoking book. I do wish the author would have let us down more easily in the end....given us a bit of a clue that the book was ending. (I know. Page numbers and all that.)  I just think he should have maybe wrapped up some kind of conclusion. Even if it was only to say, "We're here.  You are an the end of our journey together. The rest is up to you."




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Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Fire-breathing DRAGONS

So, it has been a week since I posted.  Due to pain in my shoulder and neck I've had to drastically cut back on my typing time.  Just yesterday I ordered the DRAGON voice recognition software so I'm hoping , once I really learn how to use it, that I will be back up to speed.

Yesterday I got a call from the hospital where my husband works, which is where we have all our medical procedures.  The lady told me that my infusion was all approved now and they wanted me to come in on Friday morning.  I hope that they will find an IV site on me.  I have really REALLY bad veins. Ive had so many medical procedures : steroids and antibiotics, that my veins are thin and fragile...

Anyway.  The infusion is scheduled.  It's what I've been waiting for for over a year.  These drugs can make you quite sick.  However I've weathered the Methotrexate so far. Maybe I'll be lucky here too.
The other thing of which I will need to beware is that of infection. I cannot be around anyone who is sick or even has a cold.  This is the thing my old Infectious Disease doctor had told me would be the death of me.  He said I will get sepsis and I will die. (Nothing like a confidence booster, no?)

I know that I need a biologic. I'm putting my well-being into the hands of God.  If it proves to be the end of me, I pray that my family will understand.  I don't think they really have a clue how much pain I am in.  I can't deal with it anymore.  It's getting worse and worse. I understand the risk.  I do not want to end up needing a nursing home (and not having any financial  means of paying for one)...My family members are not willing to do all my personal care etc.  I need to take the  gamble that this med will give me back some quality of life...and if not, that God would treat me mercifully.