My daughter stood after bending to zip her overnighter...she wrapped her arms around my neck and gave me a long, hard hug. "I'm gonna miss you, Mommy. Are you sure you'll be ok until Thursday when Daddy gets back?" "I'll be fine...I'll just be very very careful." "Also, " I was adjured, "Make sure you have your cell phone with you 24/7." "OKay," I promised, "I will." That was at 11:00 yesterday.
At 2:00 pm yesterday, I realized I needed to call the home care nursing company who is caring for me and their phone book was in my purse on my bedroom floor. I looked for my reacher---and it too was lying on the floor, not far from the purse. "Big help that is" I muttered and bent for the pocketbook and OMG, there it was, the hip bone sliding around and slipping right out of the socket. "God, HOW CAN THIS BE HAPPENING THREE HOURS AFTER THEY'VE LEFT??" I felt for my pocket. Yes, thank God, my cell phone was there. Perching on my one good leg I instructed myself, "do NOT drop this phone or you will be screwed." I whimpered in pain as I dialed the emergency dispatch number for our town. I knew I couldn't stand on one leg for another 15 minutes or so until help arrived, so I eased myself on to the bed and allowed the scream of pain that that caused.
I will spare you the details of help arriving, carrying me screaming and groaning out the door and onto the stretcher...The 45 minute drive to the town where my husband's employer hospital is and the excruciating task of being transferred to the gurney and then getting Xrayed.
As I was awaiting them to come in and blessedly put me to sleep so that they could wrestle my leg back into the socket, a verse--I believe from Psalm 22 came to my mind about Christ on the cross. "All my bones are out of joint...." I gasped. "REALLY, LORD???" "You went through that for me?" I tried to imagine, every one of my bones being in the state that my hip was. I couldn't. The pain of just the one hip is indescribably horrible....but that! Then my screams of "O God, help me!!" became whispers of "Thank you Jesus." And then the verse in Philippians came to mind about being partakers of Christ's suffering. And I knew then that I was in a real way, sharing a part of Jesus's experience as he hung there...for me.
I can't say that that ended my pain...or stopped my cries to God for help for long....but it did warm my heart and for a bit, made that experience more tolerable...or at least survivable. The bad news is that after wrestling for 30 minutes with my hip, the OR doc had to admit defeat. I woke and found myself still in that pain. My ortho surgeon was called and in the hands of the pro, the bones were obedient and resumed their place. For now. Undoubtedly , they will rebel once again....And I know that God will go with me there too.