Tuesday, August 19, 2014

On the Other Hand

If you read my blog yesterday you will notice that I took it down today.  My opinions were not intended to be unloving.  But when I re-read it today I decided it could be misunderstood.  I am not being "politically correct"  I just don't want misunderstanding to have it's way and lead to bad feelings.  I love the Muslim people....God loves them too.  However I believe they are radically misled in their beliefs.  I know it can be hard to divide a person from their faith.....but were they to decide that Y'shua was the one true God, then  their old faith would be left behind and they would be remade.  Renewed.  I understand the risks of such an endeavor.  It could be life threatening. 

I do not wish to have a political blogpost. I'm not a political person but I do hold firm beliefs.

I've just been digging more and more into Ps. 94 and PS 103 and 104.  Promises of healing. Words to my pastor who just lost his father.....it is endless.

I'm wearing oxygen today.  It was a bad day for breathing.  I don't know why...the weather is beautiful.  I think the problem is that my asthma is on a roll...down hill like an out of control snowball.  I am prayinng not to end up in the hospital.  I know it's very possible.  This morning I considered going to my pulmonologist but I knew chances are good that he would either admit me or put me on oral steroids.  I don't want either scenario. I just lost 9 pounds....and I don't want it back.

well I'm off to dig around for dinner.
Be blessed Peeps.

Friday, August 15, 2014

A Poem regarding that which is in the Offing

Not FarAhead
CynthiaLott Vogel
All rights reserved
8- 15-14
The trees speak easy whispers
To the bite of the air as it blows in hue.
In furrowed gardens, out peek gourds and squash,
Making ready for the autumnal spread.
Pumpkins baked and their meat blended
All in readiness for that fall flavor
That makes me think of hayrides,
 Warm quilts and hot cider.
Even though it is still mid August
The chilly breeze has me lighting candles
My tomatoes hang callow on the vine…
Weather’s bite chased away blushing cheeks…
And left them feeling rather green.
This year my home d├ęcor that celebrates autumn
Will remain boxed. 
The squash soups will be purchased, not homemade.
My hallmark apple butter and fresh applesauce:
All Forgone:
Sacrificed on the altar of grim pain,
Weak and sick,
I will treasure the glimpse of Fall from my window. 

I will light my candles and in their robust autumn scents,
I will recall hayrides past and orchard visits.
The key to stall bitterness is to not “go there”…
Sweet memories you may treasure but not with
Sadness; rather with gratitude; thankfulness--
Treasure each golden, rusty leaf and the plink of acorns.                                                                                              
Watch the squirrels flurry as they gather winter’s fare.
See the woolybear fluff along and know that winter is
Not Far ahead.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Forgotten Fodder

Yesterday I attended a barbeque which consisted of all the people who used to be in my Bible Study.  I had a terrible time debating whether or not to go....I felt like I would be trapped there and would not be able to leave until the last one was out the door.  However I talked to the hostess and she promised me that all I needed to do is tell them I need to leave and they would take me home.  I sat and chatted a bit and then ate (I ate TWO chicken cutlets that were grilled and very yummy, some pasta salad and a little watermelon)  ..I felt stuffed to the gills, so much so that I turned down brownies a la mode for dessert!!

And then after I ate, I had a bit of an intestinal problem (TMI???) and really was just ready to go home.  I had pain but I think Fatigue was the bigger problem.  It turned out that the host was ready to take me home because he wanted to go to bed as he had to work early today....So it worked out perfectly.

I have gotten to be so anti-social.  I just really am at a loss for things to talk about....How can I hope to be a writer when all the "fodder" I have to work with is from memories of the days when I had a life; vicarious stories (borrowing from the lives of others around me), things I've read and material from my Bible Studies....and of course the endless stories of my medical issues.  But who wants to hear ANY of that? What also is (or should be) a source, is my imagination...(the Hobbit, Harry Potter, Alice in Wonderland...)  However...my imagination is dead...killed off by psych meds and schizophrenia....Poverty of thought and poverty of speech reign supreme.  How can a writer write without words,  Without characters?  Without life experience?

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

The Good, the Bad, and the Downright Ugly

I know it has been awhile since I've written a post.  These days most of my writing time goes to working  on my manuscript, preparing it for production.  I had my manuscript previewed by the publisher's editing team and here are their comments. :

Manuscript’s Strengths

  • Throughout the manuscript, the author uses excellent imagery. There are consistent, original descriptions used to “paint the picture” for the reader. This is unfortunately what a lot of authors do not know how to do, so it is truly a huge strength for the book as a whole.
  • Structurally, the book is well organized. There are appropriate chapter designations, paragraphs, and the book flows in a chronological order.
  • Though some parts of this book may be difficult for some readers to endure, it all is part of the whole, which is a powerful story that shows the sovereignty of God, even through the darkest times.

This is a solid, well written, clean book, so the basic copyedit service is recommended. This edit joins dependent clauses so sentences are clear, and will address capitalization, missing words and formatting. It will also analyze the book for errors in subject-verb agreement and verb tense consistency. The copyedit also corrects general inconsistencies in spelling, grammar and punctuation, and gives the manuscript the final polish it needs to become a professional publication.

They also offered me a couple of ideas on how to tighten things up...mostly in the area of punctuation (Has anyone else noticed that the "rules of punctuation" have drastically changed since, say, 35 years ago?) I really wish I could pay a professional editor, but when I inquired on the price....well....let's just say that I don't have an extra $1300 to spend.  I guess I will have to pull out some of my books on grammar and punctuation for writers and hone my skills at dotting my i's and crossing my t's and then get to work!

I have until Sept 19th to submit my manuscript if I want to have the book done by Christmas.  Keep  your eyes open and check back here to see when I will begin taking orders for the book.. It will also be available as an e-book. but for those of you who love the feel and smell of a brand new book, here's the place to get it!

As for the other issues happening today.  I was invited to a BBQ today---later this evening.  I was very happy to be invited and I would really like to go.  However I know it will involve huge amounts of pain. (someone said to me "a little discomfort is worth it to see your friends"  excuse me?  a LITTLE discomfort?)  I hate invisible illnesses.  I have about 5 of them all swinging from the same nail on the wall.  And a "little discomfort" would be very welcome by me.  Really. It  would.

I have a huge tolerance for pain.  That doesn't mean that I don't FEEL the pain....it just means I can endure great amounts of it.  All of my doctors have commented on that. Especially when they look at my MRIs  or do surgery and see the horrible shape my joints are in.  So no,  I don't moan and groan...I only sometimes cry...but yes It hurts.  It hurts a LOT.  And if I am deprived of my normal methods of dealing with pain...(namely: my recliner and my bed), then the agony becomes indescribable.  So that is why it is SO hard to decide on leaving the house.  Short trips....or church (where there is a comfy recliner for me to use) , those I can manage.  but hours away from respite? I don't know ...I know what it entails ...and I really think I will need to stay home.  Today my Pain d'jour is in my neck and my right hip/SI joint (also I have a broken toe...but that is not a big deal)  I do not look forward to a lonely evening...when all my friends are having good eats and lots of laughs ....I just have to block those thoughts out of my mind.  Forget about what others are doing. And keep my mind occupied on other things.  And BAN jealousy and self pity.  NO.  Those are the UGLIES and I will not give them room in my heart.  I will thank God....for my recliner and bed.  I will thank him - that this life is not forever.  I will praise him because soon I will have a new body without rickety joints.  And I will thank him for each friend I have and be glad that they are having a good time.